It’s the biggest killer of men under 35 and with the sad news of Linkin Park’s lead singer Chester Bennington death INDEX asks - What is suicide and why the hell are all these young men dying? 3 out of 4 suicides are by men. A shocking statistic that we just can’t explain. Why do three times more men kill themselves than women? Often an attempt of escape from pain or suffering — suicide is a route out for some. But this poses another question that is hard to answer — what is it all these young men are running from? Suicide is closely linked to mental health; subjects that have a strong stigma surrounding them. Last month the controversial and ‘slightly piggish’ broadcaster Piers Morgan stated: "On this issue of man up, I don't like the way having a stiff upper lip has been offensive. Sometimes a bit of tough love, and an 'I you know you can do this', is not a bad thing.” It’s hard to believe that Morgan’s comments are actually his own opinion. His newly adopted Katie-Hopkins-esque broadcasting style of stating the most controversial opinion when he may not actually believe the words he’s regurgitating is becoming draining. When attitudes towards mental illness and depression are stigmatised it adds an invisible wall. Along with societal attitudes of ‘manliness’ and the expectation of emotional suppression it appears that men have several walls to clamber over if they want to talk about their struggles. Because of these walls and a refusal of diagnosis it is hard to pinpoint a specific figure surrounding men and depression. It is estimated however that approximately 30 percent of men will experience some form of depression in their lifetime. There are several warning signs for both depression and suicide. These include a lack of interest or a withdrawal of enjoyment is a key sign. Fatigue and lack of sleep are also a warning signs. Weight loss and a lack of appetite, indecisiveness and restlessness are things to look for if you believe a loved one may be suffering from depression. But what do you do if you spot some of these signs? What is the protocol? Lorna Fraser, a media advisor from the Samaritans says that talking is the best answer. "There is often a spontaneity issue with suicide, so it's about increasing the time between thought and action," The chances are if someone is experiencing depression they will be looking for someone to talk to them about what is going on. "If an intervention [can] be made, the likelihood is that the person will be able to go on, they'll be able to work through their problems and life will start to become better.” How does this conversation go, how is it initiated and how do you make sure that you're actually helping? Showing support and allowing space for your friend to express themselves and their feelings is a starting point. With every “how’s it going” and “tell me about whats been going on with you mate” you are knocking bricks from the walls that they've been trying to crawl over. Often talking about suicide with them directly removes any shame from the subject and can be a release of pressure. The most important thing to NOT do is to guilt the person or tell them what they are feeling is wrong. This isn't helpful in anyway and can often complicate matters. The “what would your mum say” trick is something that shouldn't be said — they will already be feeling low, don't make it worse. In the time it has taken to read this approximately 5 people have died as a result of suicide worldwide. Today would have been Robin Williams 66th birthday. He committed suicide back in 2014. Williams was open about his battle with depression and it seems fitting to end with a quote from him. "You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it”.
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